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Culturally, for a long, long time, it has made us uncomfortable.I watched the footage at the time and I knew exactly how Hillary felt.It got so bad I asked him to hold my hand until it passed. I decided to contact the current resident of the apartment where he died. I set up an email address with his name and wrote him letters.

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I recognized that moment where emotion seems to rise up from the shadows where you’ve worked hard to keep it contained, and you are, even just for a few moments, unable to stuff it back down.

“Don’t cry at work” is a mantra I carried around as a young producer in the male-dominated movie business. I felt angry at the negative reaction people had, even as I shared the world’s insistence that as women, we should keep a lid on our feelings.

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On a cold January day in 2008, when Hillary Clinton was running for president the first time, she answered a question from a female voter at a New Hampshire coffee shop about the challenges of getting out the door each morning during her grueling campaign.

As Clinton began to answer, speaking of her passion and concern for America, of the deeply personal convictions at the center of her work, it happened.It neither frightened them nor rendered me weak in their eyes.The more I shared, the more they wanted to know, and most importantly, the better I felt.Not holding things in allowed me to feel freer, to feel more and more like myself.Slowly I began to trust them enough to share the details of my father’s gruesome illness, my insecurities, my fears and hopes about the future.The debate was about what it meant for a woman in power to reveal her feelings, whether that was OK, whether it would damage her, whether it made her dangerous as a leader, and whether she could be trusted.

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