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When it comes to one-on-one hangouts, Callan says you’ll often find French couples taking walks outside.

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You have croissants, crème brûlée, self-possession, paid maternity leave . To clarify, we’re referring to dating here as a long-term relationship.

But dating in France—or dating a French guy on American soil—presents a whole new world of romance that can’t necessarily be ordered à la carte.

The closest thing they have to this idea is “recherche de bonheur,” which can be translated as “looking for a good time.” Sounds a lot less aggressive, right?

Their mindset is something that we can all learn from—it’s important to be aware of what brings you joy in the present moment and to embrace it, rather than pushing and striving to change something in hopes that it’ll make you happier.

By way of a different culture, language, and romantic norms, dating someone from any country is bound to present some serious differences.

Understanding the realities of French dating customs requires digging a little deeper than one or two great dates—so we spoke with five women who maintained actual serious romantic relationships, not just a week of abroad flirting.

Just be sure not to pull out your phone every time you see something Instagram-worthy—keeping technology out of the experience will further deepen your connection with your date, according to one study.

To the French, the “pursuit of happiness” is a foreign concept, says Callan.

And, she insists, it’s something we can all cultivate in our own lives—particularly when it comes to love. Here, Callan outlines eight ways you can dial up the charm while dating, from the first date to a long-term relationship.

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