Dating pastor

If you believe that someone has a special sensitivity about God, he or she is going to have power over you, because God is, by definition, all-powerful.

A lot of my non-religious friends particularly didn’t understand this point, so I’m going to put it another way.

If they didn’t do like this, you wouldn’t be at their church.

For those of you who are indeed concerned about this, here’s some of my thoughts. Now, you may not get physically killed in good ‘ole America, but you will get raked over the coals every now and again. People won’t care about what you are doing if they think you should be doing something else.

People will tell you blatantly that they don’t approve of the very thing you feel like God told you to do. You have to decide right now to do the right thing every time for the rest of your life. One decision on my part can destroy my husband’s career.

So I couldn’t tell anyone in my church about the biggest problem in my life—and that’s what churches are there for, to help you with the biggest problems in your life. Your emotions toward your church get mixed up with the emotions of your relationship.

If you’re in crazy infatuation with your pastor, you might start feeling like your church is the greatest place in the world.

Pastors, like everyone else, don’t want to have their sex lives examined by their community.

Especially if that community is paying their salary, and holds them up as a model of moral behavior. But when someone in a congregation finds out that a pastor and a parishioner are dating, the news is wildfire, and the questions never stop.If you make that decision in order to honor God, you’ll probably make it just fine. The mantle on your spouse is HUGE and you better be the one to help them carry it. You’ve got to decide not to be miserable and lean into the challenge with a gusto! He’s using you in the midst of difficulty and you’re going to be just fine.It’s OK to be yourself, it’s OK if people don’t like everything you do, and it’s OK to boldly go in the direction that God has intended for you, even if the crowd is shouting to go the other way.Jesus loves everyone equally, and so should a pastor. But in fact, in my case, my pastor’s nickname for me was “Belovedest”.Now, our “relationship” was kept mostly a secret except from a sort of inner circle of clergy and lay leadership.So I’m writing this document to explain to my friends and family -- and the general public— these rules are in place, and why, increasingly, observers of religion and sexual abuse awareness organizations say that pastor-parishioner relationships should be forbidden.

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