Beautiful intelligent women intimidating

Not to let guys off the hook but much of this stuff is deeply ingrained.

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Multiple studies show that, when asked, men say they prefer dating ambitious go-getters. As a result, many women are playing down their drive — at work or on dates — to make themselves seem like “relationship material.” When single female students were told their answers would be shared with male peers, they acted less ambitious and leadership-oriented — claiming a desire for smaller paychecks, fewer travel days, and fewer working hours, according to the National Bureau of Economic Research.

Meanwhile, their partnered female classmates didn’t waver.

So, what: You have to choose between your goals and a BF? Although guys’ attraction to girl power is more layered than you think, it is possible to find a partner who will support you. That same survey found that 87 percent of men say they’d be with a woman who made more than they did and nearly 90 percent wouldn’t mind if she were more educated. Jesse B., 33, a digital strategist, has been there.

He is supportive of his female friends’ dreams and sees himself settling down with a career type someday. “It’s intimidating when a woman is beautiful and successful and has her shit together,” he says. What I want in my head and what I go for are not usually aligned.” For Jesse and guys like him, in-the-moment feelings of emasculation are overriding their stated dating preferences, says psychologist Lora Park, Ph D, lead researcher of that University at Buffalo study.

Next, when you’re on the first few dates, look for evidence that this is a person who will cheer you on, suggests Susan Walsh, dating expert and founder of Hooking Up Smart.

Most women fail to evaluate this early on but it’s crucial if you want to sniff out someone who’s only saying he supports you.“She’s more likely to leave the relationship if she’s unhappy.He can’t just rely on the fact that he’s pulling in a paycheck to keep her around.” Some single women faced with this situation keep on with their bad selves, refusing to settle for a BF who can’t appreciate their accomplishments.And you may be handing over the majority of your ability to make decisions in the relationship because you’re signaling that your partner’s desires override yours, says economist Marina Adshade, Ph D, author of Bottom line: Taming your ambition may land you a boyfriend.However, if you have a big vision of what you hope to accomplish in your career, there’s a strong chance you won’t be satisfied for long.When a man gets face-to-face with how impressive a woman is, he can feel inadequate.

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